I.
'What a long fucking day,' she says as she exits the hospital. She got yelled at by her boss, her ex was seen by everyone with his new girl, and a nurse almost stuck her with a needle. Caitlin goes to the designated smoking section and lights one up. 'That feels amazing,' she smiles. She tried to quit smoking three weeks ago, but with her job comes drama and with that the smoking habit returned. Even though her day was shit, she feels good. 'I think I'll be grabbing a drink tonight.' She whips out her phone and sends a max text to her friends,
Tonight's the night, bitches. Doc's. 9pm. Be there or be lame. It's time to get lit.
She smiles; her friends were ridiculous, one might say crazy, but if she didn't have them, Caitlin would be lost. With everything that has happened recently, her friends and a good Guinness was all she needed. She worried a bit about her drinking, but that comes with all break-ups, she felt. Especially when she sees her ex every day at work. She feels her phone vibrate and gets a message:
I hope this night leads to nudity and shit-faced-ness that we all could use. LOL. Can't wait to see you. It's been too long.
-Eric
She laughs. Eric's and her relationship had been borderline complicated, but they both became over it. She had kept her distance long enough.
See you there, player.
She laughs and puts her cigarette out. She feels her phone go off again and laughs, 'Eric is addicted to texting.' She looks at her phone and sits back down:
What are you doing tonight? I was thinking about getting a case of beer and drinking alone in my apartment. Care to join?
-Gabe
Definitely not Eric. Her ex. She begins to ask why when she hears this horrific scream coming from around the corner. Instinctively, she begins to run. 'God I hope one of the psych patients didn't escape again.' She sprints down to the end of the block and turns the corner. She sees a man standing on the ledge of a parking structure, she screams, "STOP!" She thinks to herself, 'What the fuck is he doing?'
II.
A man looks over the ledge and sighs. The cool breeze of the early evening hits him like a brick. He steps up and closes his eyes. Does he really want to do this? Did everything in his life lead up to this moment? He feels lost, and doesn't know who he is anymore. He looks up and sees a group of geese flying and letting the world know of their existence. 'Even a dumb bird has more friends than I do,' he said. He looked down. A long jump. Is this worth it? He stepped back down. And stepped up again. Yes. No. Yes. No. He could never make up his mind about anything. Maybe that's why he felt everything was at a downturn. He turned down his dad's business offer, went to college, became a writer, and failed. Tried more jobs than he could remember and still failed. He worked at a Toys R Us for a year and even got fired from that job. He wants the world to know of his existence. This would make headlines. The ER was a block away and he is sure people would hear about his lifeless body. He is just fed up. He hears laughter from the bar across the street and sees people smoking outside. 'I could just become a drunk. You make friends that way.' But alcohol makes him physically ill and would be a long, slow, painful death. This will be instantaneous. He feels the urge to scream. So he does. He screams loud and hard, feeling anger more than ever. He is surprised by his lung power. He feels ... relieved. Yet the man is still standing on the ledge. The legs will not budge. In the distance, he hears shoes hitting the ground at a rapid pace. A young woman's voice alerts him, "STOP!"
III.
He looks down at her and stares. This is unexpected. 'Just go, I don't need someone screaming at me right now.'
She shakes her head, 'No fucking way dude. I had the worst day at work, and it's not going to end with me seeing a man jump to his death.'
He laughs at her, 'Can't be worse than my past few weeks.'
She stares at him, 'You really want to go there buddy,' she yells up, 'I've been staring at the bottom of an empty beer bottle for the past three weeks wishing I was where you're at. So don't get me started.' She thought to herself, 'How the hell am I going to get this guy off of there?' She thinks of dialing 911 on her cell phone, but she knows as soon as he sees it, he will jump, whether or not she's there. She looks up at him and sees his foot out as if he is just about there, 'Wait. Wait! Please! .. At least share a cigarette with me. That always cools me down.'
He looks at her, 'I don't smoke.'
'Well then share in your first and last cigarette of all time with me, please,' she smiles but he can tell there is fear behind the smile. She was very pretty. 'Why not,' he thought to himself, 'might as well go out with a bang.'
'Fine,' he puts on a smile for her to show he is genuine about the offer. Within seconds he hears somebody coming up the stairs of the parking structure. 'She's fast,' he thought.
IV.
As she's climbing up the steps, she says, 'After the cigarette, what the hell am I going to do? What if he jumps anyway? Jesus, I should have ignored the scream!' She opens the door and stops to catch her breath. Before her is a beautiful, broken man. His back is to her, but he is off the ledge. He turns around and she gets a better view of him. His hair is black, with strands of gray, and his eyes are a piercing blue. He is lean and lanky, but not in a bad way. She smiles, 'From down there you look like a giant.' She is trying to make light of a situation that she has no idea how to deal with. And he appreciates it, 'Didn't you know that's my whole reason for being up here? I want people to see me as a giant. The ruler of all.'
She laughs, awkwardly. How does one joke with a man that is ready to die?
He stares at her. This girl is younger than he, he could tell. But she seems wise beyond her years. Her hair's tied back with a ribbon wrapped around her head. She's wearing a uniform, with an apron and he guesses that her job is not all that's cracked up to be. She starts fumbling for her pack, she's out of breath, and just plain nervous.
He smiles, 'Don't worry, I'll wait til you're away to jump.'
She does not return his smile, as she hands him a smoke. She lights it up for him, and lights up her own. She breaths in and out. The silence feels awkward to her, and she begins to get anxious, 'I have to keep him occupied,' she thought to herself.
'I know why you're up here,' she says.
He raises his eyebrow, 'Really?'
'Well not the exact reason. I won't pin-point it because I can't. But I know the feeling. Like I said to you before, I know the feeling of being lost and hating yourself for stupid things. It's very unpleasant. And I wish I could stop myself. Sometimes I wish I had drunken too many. Or accidentally left my car running in the garage while I'm there. But I don't. I don't know why I don't. Maybe I'm just a pussy. Terrified of the other side. Who the fuck knows. Who cares. I'm beginning to ramble...'
He smiles at her. He enjoys the cigarette, and enjoys her company even more. He sticks his hand out to her, 'Daniel.' She reaches for his hand, 'Caitlin.' He smiles, 'Nice to meet you..under the circumstances.'
Caitlin looks at him and laughs, 'Yeah, these are less than great circumstances.'
She knows the question that everyone probably wants to ask, but for some reason she doesn't. She wants to tell him stories.
'I work with my ex.'
He stares at her, thinks to himself, 'Why is she telling me this?' He says to her, 'Really?'
'Yeah, it's the shittiest situation you could think of. He is with someone else that works here. What's worse is that I have a four year degree and my job doesn't even require a high school diploma. Thank you economy. I get paid less than 10 dollars an hour too,' she looks at him.
'Wow. That sounds pretty shitty.'
'Yeah, it really fucking is. But here's the kicker, you know why I'm not on the ledge holding your hand ready to jump with you?'
He is curious, 'Why?'
'Because I want to prove that fucker wrong. I want to prove to him that he didn't beat me. That he will never hurt me, even if I am hurt more than I ever thought I could be. Nothing feels better than doing something, succeeding, and shoving it in some asshole's face.'
Daniel laughs.
Caitlin smiles, 'Isn't there anyone you can prove wrong?'
Daniel thought about it. There is his dad. His ex-wife. His past bosses. Every editor that ever turned him down. He looks at her, 'I don't know.'
'Bull shit. And I'm calling you on it too. So here is what I propose you do. You prove them wrong. Give them the big fuck you.' He interrupts with a smile, 'Such colorful language young lady.'
She laughs, 'Curse like a sailor, I do. But I'm ok with it. I don't use it when I don't need it. But don't change the subject. Prove them wrong. It's as simple and as easy as that...'
She smiles with a mischievous look on her face, 'And you come with me and my friends to grab a drink.'
He looks at her, 'How do I know you won't kill me?'
'Really? Really? You're ready to jump off a ledge and when someone offers to help you think they're going to off you. Ten minutes you wouldn't even have cared about that. So what would it hurt?'
He laughs, and frowns, 'I don't know. I really don't know if I'm safe away from this spot.'
'I'm not leaving you. Period. So one of two things happens: One. I bring the party here. Or two. You come with me. Your choice. But either way I'm not leaving.'
He thought about it, seriously. This is the first time in a long time he had a good conversation with another human being. Maybe this is worth a shot. He smiled and nodded.
'Which one.' She asks.
'Let's go,' He states.
Caitlin beams with joy. 'Awesome. What an awesome way to end the day. Come on, the bar is a block away.' She isn't sure if a bar is a good idea for a man who is extremely depressed, but she is willing to give it a shot. If she just surrounds Daniel with people, she knows he will be fine.
They walk down the stairs together, both with smiles on their faces.
Caitlin texts Eric:
I just made a friend. Be nice. Otherwise, I'll kick your ass.
She laughs and walks out of the building with Daniel beside her.
